Archive for September, 2007

Can Gay Sex Save the World from G-d?

By Troy Williams

In a recent conversation I had with NYU queer theorist, Ann Pellegrini, she remarked, “if queers cannot affirm sex as a value that does good in the world, we can hardly expect hetero-normative culture to do so.”  I’ve heard Ann say many times that “gay sex is good and gay sex does good in the world”.   How far can we take that outrageously provocative statement?  Can gay sex actually be a force that benefits the world?  And if so, what about God?

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We know Eros as the Greek god of love.  For the ancients, he represented the primal life-instinct. Through sexuality, Eros teaches us romantic intimacy, emotional wellbeing, interconnection and wholeness.  But for all of Eros’ good intentions, our culture still distorts sex to sell products, manipulate partners, dominate subordinates, discriminate against queers, assault women and abuse children. In too many ways, sex in the 21st Century is fucked.  And I blame the god of patriarchy.

Any sexual teaching rooted in the three patriarchal faiths of Abraham (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) should be categorically chucked.  That’s right.  Pack your Bible, Koran, Torah and Book of Mormon and incinerate every worthless page in the gold calf of your choice.  These books venerate Jehovah, that narcissistic masochist prick who harassed the Children of Israel, commanded them to murder unbelievers, assigned them ridiculous dietary restrictions and forced them to wander aimlessly for 40 years in the desert.  This “deity” is not worthy of human devotion and he certainly isn’t going to proscribe to me any kind of sexual morality.   

The Book of Mormon teaches the “natural man is an enemy to God.” And Big J and his followers were always up for a good genocide.  He hated nature-cults and commanded his boys to murder all tree-hugging, goddess worshipping Pagans, Gnostics and anybody else who wouldn’t worship his giant celestial ego.

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Big J institutionalized his patriarchy through Melchizedek and Father Abraham (The latter is the guy J commanded to murder his own son, and then at the last second yelled, “just kidding!”). Big J spoke exclusively through his phallocratic prophets. Women became concubines.  He selected an elite “chosen few” to save when his terrible fury finally cleanses the earth in an always imminent but never occurring future. Jehovah is a false god who has arrogantly set himself up as the creator of the world and the wrathful judge of human morality. Well fuck him.

This is the homicidal ideology that fuels world conflict today. Patriarchal religions legitimize crusades, inquisitions, genocides, colonialism, jihads, suicide bombings, pre-emptive war, ecocide, gender inequality, racism, child sexual abuse, and of course the violent hatred of gays and lesbians. 

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In John Lamb Lash’s book, Not In His Image: Gnostic Belief, Deep Ecology and The Future of Belief, he exposes the brutal legacy of patriarchal belief systems based on a “master-slave relationship” rooted in a resentment of nature and sexuality. Lash rails against “the enslavement and manipulation of the human spirit by false and perverted beliefs disguised as religious ideals.”  He builds a stunning argument that these religions have established “victim-perpetrator bonds” that reinforce the power of the Church and its off-planet deity over their docile followers.  “Perpetrators adopted the salvationist creed for religious cover, in order to sanction their actions through a superhuman authority.”  Lash contrasts the pathological revulsion dominators exhibit toward sexuality with the nature loving Pagans. He observes, “that fondness for sensual and sexual pleasure might be a spontaneous expression of the joy of living in the natural world, rather than a symptom of evil, all consuming lust.” The Gnostic Mystery Schools were “dedicated to continual rebonding with the ecstatic life force, Eros, and grounding in the life source, Gaia.” 

But the Christians murdered the Gnostics, burned their libraries, destroyed the Mysteries and declared sex a sin.  Hence we inherited the Christian world-view. The only script we’ve been taught to follow is the sci-fi soap opera of an abusive father god who hates human sexuality and queer sexuality most of all. And so, not knowing better, we unconsciously model this psychosexual drama by acting out as either perpetrators or victims—and sometimes both.  Many of us have experienced the wounds of sexual assault and as a result sex is no longer a source for joy and empathic bonding, but rather an emotional wound that recalls domination and violence. And some of us have too aggressively asserted our sexuality to satisfy our perceived longings at the expense of others. Regardless, most of us struggle daily to accept our sexuality and express our desires in positive, life-affirming ways. 

But can gay sex help save the world from Big J?  Absolutely! Let go and let god piss off.  Let’s reject the dominator script of sexuality written by false prophets. Forget the boring patriarchal missionary position that keeps women in the passive role. Let’s have fun! Queers can refuse to replicate these sexual narratives by joyfully subverting and rewriting the established story.  Queers can be versatile. Bottoms can be tops and tops can be bottoms.  We can dominate and also submit.  We can playfully explore a myriad of other erotic possibilities including threesomes, foursomes and more.  And don’t forget the singular joy of private masturbation!

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Let’s shed the fear of sexual desire and communicate with our partners in a conscious, thoughtful manner.  Let’s open ourselves to the possibility of transcendence through sexual practice. We are all learning how to negotiate sexual energy.  And like any skill-set, sex requires a lot of practice! Sometimes
we make mistakes and hurt each other. And sometimes we excel magnificently at expressing genuine
love. Patience, forgiveness and openness are necessary to healing our psychic wounds and accessing our sexual powers for personal liberation. We can use sex as an opening to experience oneness with our partners and with the creative energies that move the planets.  In that, gay sex can be a powerful force for good. And without an angry god to tell us we’re all depraved and fallen, maybe the world won’t need to be saved after all.

Podcast my interview with John Lamb Lash here.

Queer By Choice?

By Troy Williams

Podcast complete interview

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When presidential candidate Bill Richardson said he thought being gay was a choice, the
gay media and blogosphere exploded in outrage.  During a recent RadioActive, I invited queer theorists, Ann Pellegrini and Michael Cobb to weigh in on the “born that way” debate.  Pellegrini is an associate professor of religious studies at New York University. She co-authored, Love the Sin: Sexual Regulation and the Limits of Religious Tolerance. Cobb is an associate professor of English at the University of Toronto and the author of, God Hates Fags: The Rhetorics of Religious Violence.   

I’ll start with a transcript from the Logo TV presidential debate with the Human Rights Campaign.  Melissa Etheridge is questioning Richardson.

Melissa Etheridge: Do you think homosexuality is a choice or is it biological?

Bill Richardson: It’s a choice. 

Etheridge:  I don’t know if you understand the question. Do you think a homosexual is born that way or do you think that around seventh grade we think, “oh, I want to be gay”?

Richardson:  I’m not a scientist.  I don’t see this as an issue of science or definition.  I see gays and lesbians as people as a matter of human decency.  I see it as a matter of love and companionship…

Troy Williams: The media went crazy – all the queers were furious with Richardson for committing a big gay heresy.  But despite the fact that he was stumbling, I actually liked what he had to say.

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Ann Pellegrini: I actually found his response extremely refreshing.  I know he’s been attacked.  Some gay bloggers even called it, I think outrageously, his “macaca moment” – once again drawing an interesting and I think problematic parallel between arguments of equal rights for gay people with arguments for civil rights for African-Americans and people of color. Later Margaret Carlson followed it up and persisted with this line of questioning.  The only way Carlson and Etheridge can see grounding an argument for queer equality was in the language of biology.  Richardson responds to Margaret Carlson by saying it’s not a matter of preferences it’s a matter of equality.  He actually turns and uses the moral language of democracy, which is a much better than appeals to science. 

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Michael Cobb: I like the fact Richardson is introducing other elements to the discussion.  I kind of enjoyed the outrage from Etheridge and others because it starts to produce a necessary and complicated conversation that has to happen. I like the fact that Richardson refused to indulge a scientific explanation for the differences and distinctiveness of queer sexuality. 

AP: He came much closer than anyone has in terms of a public figure to say it actually doesn’t matter how someone came to be gay. They shouldn’t be discriminated against. 

TW: I have girlfriends who are lesbian – and they have told me they have chosen this lifestyle as a preference – and of course we have bisexuals. The “born this way” argument is so gay male-centered and it’s imposing itself upon the whole spectrum of sexuality.  How did that come to be and why is the idea of choice such a heresy? 

AP: This line of questioning was pursued by both Carlson and Etheridge, so at first glace it might seem that there is a counter-argument to you suggesting that this is a gay male-centered argument.  But historically there has been more room, certainly among lesbian-feminist in the 60’s and 70’s for talking about lesbianism as a choice, very much linked to a feminist politics.  And there hasn’t been the same kind of conversation among gay men.  I think this also has to do with the fact that feminists thought for a long time about the ways supposedly innate sexual differences between men and women were used as a moral and legal justification to deny women equal rights. So feminists recognized that an argument that turned to nature could also as much be used against you as for you.   

MC: What is interesting about Richardson, that is very different than say a Fred Phelps, is that he is refusing to say choice means you can opt out – he instead wants to think of choice as another kind of life one is leading.  He is taking us away from the inevitable discussion of biology. He went right in and said, I’m not a scientist — this is an issue of human rights.

AP: There was an unrehearsed quality to the way Richardson responded.  As if he was befuddled that this was even an issue how someone got to be gay.  He tried to elaborate, “I don’t like categories, it’s a matter of how people love”.  I thought that was a really fascinating way to think about what is at stake.  It’s thinking about protecting forms of life and how people make lives together.  He’s actually providing a lot more room for legal argument in his vague response.

MC:  I like the idea that he doesn’t know and professing not to really know.  Because I also agree that we might not know even if we think we do know!  This was a question asked of me by Kathryn Bond Stockton: “do you believe you are born that way or not?”  And it was like this incredible heresy –I am very well versed in the concerns around biological arguments.  Of course I want to open up the possibility of choice over biology.  But because she then asked me that question, my response was, “I don’t know”.  I have certain narratives I tell about why I am a sexual minority. I have certain clues and ideas, but I can’t necessarily figure it all out.  In some ways I liked the hesitation that Richardson had.  This is an open question.  The origin is not going to give us a clear path on how to proceed.  He’s not trying to explain it away.  What he does know is that this is an issue of human rights. 

TW: Why the gay outrage?  What is this doing to us collectively to create this kind of panic? 

AP:  Certainly for the past two decades the argument for gay and lesbian equality has been grounded in the “born that way” argument that sees homosexuality as analogous to racial difference.  There are lots of reasons why this particular analogy has developed.  It seemed like the only one strategically effective enough to deal with those who want to say homosexuality is a behavior based identity.  They argue: it’s about choice and a bad choice at that.  We assert: no, we’re born this way, we can’t change, it’s an immutable difference like being black or being a woman.   What I don’t like about the “born that way” argument is that it’s amnesiac. It forgets that natural differences have been used to justify discrimination historically in this country.  I also think it’s morally bankrupt because it seems to imply that if you could change you wouldn’t therefore deserve to have equal rights.  And finally the emphasis on being “born that way” is ontological — it’s about identity.  It doesn’t make the kind of social space available to act one’s difference.  You could imagine someone saying, “Okay, fine your born that way, can’t change, can’t help it — so we won’t discriminate against you because your gay, but we’ll discriminate against you if you act gay.”  Which is effectively what Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell does.  You can be gay, but you can’t do gay.   

TW: Ultimately what do you see as the potential of queer politics? 

MC:  I want queer politics to allow a bit of unruliness. There is an enormous amount of pressure to be public in a certain kind of way.  And I kind of want rest and relaxation and pleasure to be part of this conversation. One of the things I like about sexuality is that it is sexuality. 

AP: Michael you are onto something so important.  We live in a culture that for all of the ways in which sex is used to sell every product, it is profoundly ambivalent about sexual pleasure.  Queers of various sorts have been raised in this culture too and we struggle to affirm the value of sexual pleasure.  And if queers cannot affirm it as a value that does good in the world, we can hardly expect hetero-normative culture to do so.

MC: Exactly.

AP: I think that making space for pleasure is actually deeply political.  We need breathing room to recharge our batteries (take that as a vibrator reference if you like) to actually go out in the streets, to deal with the endless frustration of committee meetings and leafleting.  Politics is about the long haul.  It’s not a progress narrative of inevitability.  This is about a long-term fight.  Nothing is guaranteed.  And the curiosity that Michael is talking about, the fact that we don’t know, can actually inform us and animate us.  It doesn’t have to demoralize us.

RadioActive airs live M-F, from noon to 1pm on KRCL 90.9 FM. 


Troy Williams

contact Troy at troywillbe [at] gmail.com