By Troy Williams
In a recent conversation I had with NYU queer theorist, Ann Pellegrini, she remarked, “if queers cannot affirm sex as a value that does good in the world, we can hardly expect hetero-normative culture to do so.” I’ve heard Ann say many times that “gay sex is good and gay sex does good in the world”. How far can we take that outrageously provocative statement? Can gay sex actually be a force that benefits the world? And if so, what about God?

We know Eros as the Greek god of love. For the ancients, he represented the primal life-instinct. Through sexuality, Eros teaches us romantic intimacy, emotional wellbeing, interconnection and wholeness. But for all of Eros’ good intentions, our culture still distorts sex to sell products, manipulate partners, dominate subordinates, discriminate against queers, assault women and abuse children. In too many ways, sex in the 21st Century is fucked. And I blame the god of patriarchy.
Any sexual teaching rooted in the three patriarchal faiths of Abraham (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) should be categorically chucked. That’s right. Pack your Bible, Koran, Torah and Book of Mormon and incinerate every worthless page in the gold calf of your choice. These books venerate Jehovah, that narcissistic masochist prick who harassed the Children of Israel, commanded them to murder unbelievers, assigned them ridiculous dietary restrictions and forced them to wander aimlessly for 40 years in the desert. This “deity” is not worthy of human devotion and he certainly isn’t going to proscribe to me any kind of sexual morality.
The Book of Mormon teaches the “natural man is an enemy to God.” And Big J and his followers were always up for a good genocide. He hated nature-cults and commanded his boys to murder all tree-hugging, goddess worshipping Pagans, Gnostics and anybody else who wouldn’t worship his giant celestial ego.

Big J institutionalized his patriarchy through Melchizedek and Father Abraham (The latter is the guy J commanded to murder his own son, and then at the last second yelled, “just kidding!”). Big J spoke exclusively through his phallocratic prophets. Women became concubines. He selected an elite “chosen few” to save when his terrible fury finally cleanses the earth in an always imminent but never occurring future. Jehovah is a false god who has arrogantly set himself up as the creator of the world and the wrathful judge of human morality. Well fuck him.
This is the homicidal ideology that fuels world conflict today. Patriarchal religions legitimize crusades, inquisitions, genocides, colonialism, jihads, suicide bombings, pre-emptive war, ecocide, gender inequality, racism, child sexual abuse, and of course the violent hatred of gays and lesbians.

In John Lamb Lash’s book, Not In His Image: Gnostic Belief, Deep Ecology and The Future of Belief, he exposes the brutal legacy of patriarchal belief systems based on a “master-slave relationship” rooted in a resentment of nature and sexuality. Lash rails against “the enslavement and manipulation of the human spirit by false and perverted beliefs disguised as religious ideals.” He builds a stunning argument that these religions have established “victim-perpetrator bonds” that reinforce the power of the Church and its off-planet deity over their docile followers. “Perpetrators adopted the salvationist creed for religious cover, in order to sanction their actions through a superhuman authority.” Lash contrasts the pathological revulsion dominators exhibit toward sexuality with the nature loving Pagans. He observes, “that fondness for sensual and sexual pleasure might be a spontaneous expression of the joy of living in the natural world, rather than a symptom of evil, all consuming lust.” The Gnostic Mystery Schools were “dedicated to continual rebonding with the ecstatic life force, Eros, and grounding in the life source, Gaia.”
But the Christians murdered the Gnostics, burned their libraries, destroyed the Mysteries and declared sex a sin. Hence we inherited the Christian world-view. The only script we’ve been taught to follow is the sci-fi soap opera of an abusive father god who hates human sexuality and queer sexuality most of all. And so, not knowing better, we unconsciously model this psychosexual drama by acting out as either perpetrators or victims—and sometimes both. Many of us have experienced the wounds of sexual assault and as a result sex is no longer a source for joy and empathic bonding, but rather an emotional wound that recalls domination and violence. And some of us have too aggressively asserted our sexuality to satisfy our perceived longings at the expense of others. Regardless, most of us struggle daily to accept our sexuality and express our desires in positive, life-affirming ways.
But can gay sex help save the world from Big J? Absolutely! Let go and let god piss off. Let’s reject the dominator script of sexuality written by false prophets. Forget the boring patriarchal missionary position that keeps women in the passive role. Let’s have fun! Queers can refuse to replicate these sexual narratives by joyfully subverting and rewriting the established story. Queers can be versatile. Bottoms can be tops and tops can be bottoms. We can dominate and also submit. We can playfully explore a myriad of other erotic possibilities including threesomes, foursomes and more. And don’t forget the singular joy of private masturbation!

Let’s shed the fear of sexual desire and communicate with our partners in a conscious, thoughtful manner. Let’s open ourselves to the possibility of transcendence through sexual practice. We are all learning how to negotiate sexual energy. And like any skill-set, sex requires a lot of practice! Sometimes
we make mistakes and hurt each other. And sometimes we excel magnificently at expressing genuine
love. Patience, forgiveness and openness are necessary to healing our psychic wounds and accessing our sexual powers for personal liberation. We can use sex as an opening to experience oneness with our partners and with the creative energies that move the planets. In that, gay sex can be a powerful force for good. And without an angry god to tell us we’re all depraved and fallen, maybe the world won’t need to be saved after all.
Podcast my interview with John Lamb Lash here.





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